Life Grips

Awkward huh???? Yap, the title took a bit of thought. It usually takes me time to think of a piece before I write it down.
Growing up in a large family, mainly extended, I learnt the art of holding onto things. Don’t get me wrong, we are middle class and didn’t lack much, but it was important to hold on tightly to what we had.
The pages have flipped years through and I have often overheard conversations of people easily letting go of friends, loved ones, significant others, long term partners, careers and dreams too. Reason being simply because it has become too tough. That does ache my soul.

Now take a deep breath and please don’t shoot me…I am not against choices and I do comprehend the universe’s decision of independence. I am not encouraging blindfolding oneself when there is violence and a life at stake, which are not the context of this blog.
All I am saying is that the above excluded, we seem to flip the book pages too soon that we miss the entire story. What happened to a listening ear, growing together, working on differences, the ice cream music…..the driver of the wheels might change but that doesn’t mean you change the car. Steer the same one in a new direction.
Nothing really comes easy in life and yeah….. I know the saying that find the ones worth fighting for. Well, my tiny tiny head believes that you also fight for the ones that belong to you, the ones you believe in, the ones you love…
Battlefields do need a strategy, definately after the moulding by mother nature, one needs to know which buttons to press, but walk in there determined to give your very best, fight like never before and push till the end.
Let’s get one thing straight, fight for what is yours, not what you believe to be yours. If it’s work, how did you get the job? Did you pull some honest strings or did you let some Naomi go to satisfy your supposed desire. Run in your own lane!
Look here, I have worked in places where I was ignored in a crowd where everyone’s name was called out for salutations. I have witnessed ultimate humiliation when a colleague called me out at work doubting my potential in my own field of expertise. I have drowned in heartache when all I got was a frown and every entry of someone else was noticed by a wide smile. Yes, I can smell the questions of why didn’t you just quit and move on. It would be an ultimate solution, but not a lasting one.
Dating was another ride on the life train. I once went on a date and he never called again….ehhhhh…..I am not sure if I talked too much or there was no chemistry. Everything in my life, every eventful aspect was dying at a certain stage, just not the end point…
There are days when I wept, complained and snuggled away on my own. Then it hit me that enough was enough. I chose to fight because I needed my job, I had earned it and if anything, I was not going to be dragged out of it. Then I drew up a list of qualities for a partner and decided nothing less would pass the test. One by one they dropped off and I still decided mediocre in character wasn’t for me, not now or ever. My persistence paid off and I don’t regret it.
I vividly recall one day that a workmate began to walk into the office daily and greet my colleague with whom I shared the sitting space, deliberately ignoring me. It did pinch me then, because she mentioned her name…..aaarrrrrrggggghhhh….on several occasions I did dream of myself boxing her head off…..
Months went by and she argued that I had a larger table than hers. She won and took it, however, on condition that she shared it with me. I moved into the library and said I needed to do research…the books were happy to see me, and enjoyed the caresses of my daily touch. Four months later she abandoned it, and i moved back home. A laptop was her second scheme.
” ohhh, I need it more than her since I do investigations….once again, I was thrown into the cooler.”
So hard it hit me that I thought I had offended the big man up there, I told him I was sorry. I did not get a response immediately.
The beauty in this was that the story up there gave me a thick skin. I knew it was me against the world here so I put on my big girl gloves, pants and socks and finally got into the ring. I fought with my work, gave it my all. That was the one area she could not touch. I decided to read hard, beefed up my presentations, I uped my game and it worked…in no time, she made up a fake UN posting and out she was.
A few weeks later, a brand new sleek laptop was in my name. Speaking of lady luck knocking on your door.
You have to want it so badly to fight for it. This is no baby swinging where you are pushed back and forth. There are no minders here and the tide gets really high. The waves aren’t kind either. You gotta row that boat with every inch of cassava and flour energy in you.
I remember my results in August 2016 after two attempts at an exam. I was crushed beyond repair and my mind went blank on what to think or do. I was helplessly broken, hurt, crushed and probably rusted too. I had hardly grieved enough over the loss of my close friend Jackie when this blow hit!!! I needed to find myself. I couldn’t gather the strength and I had no anchor either…I was in space with no rainbow, even the sky turned gray in my eyes. Despite that, I had to fight on, after snuggling in and crying my eyes out for days, I found my resting place, and I gave myself time to rebuild and remold….I slept in, partied wild, watched movies, travelled and danced the nights away. In no time, I was smiling.
It’s okay to take time out to breathe a bit, but not to give up on life and dreams. Nothing worth keeping comes without a fight. Hold on strong, tight and keep going till the very end.
So as you fight for your dreams, job, that relationship, also know that you need to leave room for growth and reflection too. With that comes change sometimes or even tolerance. We need to give room for absorption, but above all, give room for God to move things as he wills for man can only propose, and God alone disposes. This is not for the weak hearted, go build an iron body!
La finale is patience. The good fight needs a patient man or woman, a believing one, positive mind and the will to move over those mountains. Stretch on…
Peace out♡☆♡ and don’t say mama didn’t warn me!
#RawandReal#