“Strive to understand and not to be understood… It will improve your interpersonal relations and make you better.” Now back then, i neither welcomed, nor comprehended the reason why she found the need to constantly remind me of that. The frequency became another pun too.
You see, i thought that statements like that were a retaliation of a certain behaviour or conversation, none of which had transpired, so i wondered if she had overheard a conversation i had had, i mean the glass like wall between our rooms is not sound proof, or maybe in our frequent conversations it had slipped, or maybe someone told on me….. i didn’t get it at all.
I once remember trying to explain myself out of a situation. She quietly looked at me and said i needed to be trained in management skills…..now that was just another blow. Now she thinks i will make a horrible manager some day. Ohhh boy!!!
It both puzzled and disturbed me for a while……only until i decided to look at it from her point of view. I mirrored myself in her shoes. Then i said to myself; ” This is vanity, just forget all this and continue being you….you are alright i told myself.” I burried it.
A couple of months later, we both witnessed a quarrel ensue before our eyes, watching in awe, i wondered why she wasn’t putting a stop to it, in my mind i thought;
” she should intervene and handle it, try to let them see how embarrassing it looks to ridicule each other in public. She’s way above me in rank. They can address the elephant in the room without tearing each other down….jeezzzzz.”
Well, that too passed and week’s later she casually asked what my thoughts were about that fight. Truth be told, i laughed and said i found it ridiculous that two grown individuals could resort to such. Then i told her that i was certain she would intervene, she asked; “why would you think that?”
“Well, you are senior in rank and i have seen you handle such situations with admirable grace. I was quite shocked when you just looked on, and walked away too.”
She smiled and joked that she had to save herself from being punched, but later said;
“You see, i agree that wasn’t necessary. Momentarily, a spark of anger can result in quite a lot….but if we only tried to understand each other, a lot of that could be avoided. In my opinion, they were both right, opinions differ and so do characters……when you comprehend that, you let some fights go because some people fight out of character, not out of opinions. Some people are fighters even when it is not required…..if you can know that, you just walk away…….Only speak when it is needed, how do you think i have avoided all the wrinkles?”
So in my mind i questioned if that meant never speaking out or airing concerns, but i was enjoying the conversation and it was an eye opening moment.
I had to breathe in, it all now made sense…..when she advised me, it was to better me, to grow me, prepare me, mold me……i haven’t faced that challenge yet, but she knew i would….so she was preparing me…..and those are the skills i required……
It was just for me……in the same way, it is just for you……
Life lessons♥♥♥
#RawandReal#
Raw and Real 