NOMB

Like the title says, truthfully, i shouldn’t be meddling in this at all, but somehow, i am…….call it concern or idleness, the latter being non applicable in any circumstances, i still have made this my business.

The boarding school phenomenon, when it comes to a child who hasn’t completed the primary school level, my brain runs wild. Picture this scenario of a parent or parents who choose to place their child in boarding school, but awake every morning and drive to town, work and head back home, within reasonable time, are hardly out of town or away on travel.

Statistics show that a child’s first twelve years are very fundamental,and just like the formation stage, they pick up on a lot. Habits are formed , and their eyes and mind see and store a lot. Now these are all personal sentiments.

When i envision the stages of a child, from the baby steps, it is amazing and touching how parents are always eager to watch them crawl, smile, take their first steps,identify people, their first words, actions and so much more. Even the authors of baby books agree on this one as they spare a lot of room for the firsts as expected…… and it goes on for the first twelve months of the child’s life. I think after that, the excitement dwindles down.

When i picture a child, i see playtime, toys, face painting, storytelling too. I also see tears, tantrums and moods. I believe that a child from infancy picks up on a lot and their brains can be stimulated by figures, sounds and music. So if a child can mimic an adult very well, or re- act out a comedy strip, then that is the mind at work.

Reading helps to introduce a child to languages, words and diction too, the same way princess Sophia is a catch these days. What i think we have to keep in mind is that having your child around you to some extent gives you control over what is fed to them, it grants you the opportunity to identify character traits and personalities…..the coy and the bossy one. Miss loud and Mr know it all are also reflected. Some always take the lead too, and that grows in them. Kindness, empathy, responsibility, patience and other admirable qualities are instilled in the long run.

The downside is that after being away for three months, it requires a lot of consistency to undo a daily habit. Imagine a situation where your child has picked up speaking with a full mouth, or abusive language or uncouth behavior. ….be grateful if you even notice it, better still well within time to avert it too.

I wouldn’t want to miss the random dances to a tune, the surprising words, the dinner or lucky if i am daytime stories, especially about the first day, the friends they make along the way. ….pictures, birthday cakes and holidays too……i want to see and be part of all that i can, and still cuddle with my children when they are sick, notice that they are an inch taller, have dropped a bad habit, improved or maintained steady progress. I want to encourage them when they are down, remind them to make hay when the sun shines, see and tell them how beautiful and handsome they are, encourage them to stand up to bullying, and use, not find their voice because they do have one. I want to take them swimming, to play tennis, basketball, singing and dance classes. I want to  watch them compete in a chess game, scrabble, monopoly too. I would love to teach them their local language, culture, introduce them to international literature and languages, discipline them, set boundaries, and tell them that they will make some mistakes but they can rise above them, take and use second chances because they will be really really super lucky if they have a third……the magic words of ” sorry, please, thank you” to be like ice cream to their lips. I want to watch them grow independently and be able to stand up at their graduation and say the silliest and funniest story because i lived it with them…..

Now they will go to boarding school at some point in their lives , no doubt about that. It just will not be when they are still little.

I think regardless of the circumstances, it is important to invest and prioritize spending time with our children and get to know and appreciate them.

About a few days ago, a friend shared a rather interesting story, here goes;

she has two year old twins who are potty training, so when they let the rear end gas go, she or any adult within reach rushes and picks the potty and sits them onto it. On a lazy Sunday afternoon, their dad was playing with them when he accidentally did the do……in an instant they both rushed and called out to the maid to bring the potty…..in pure innocence, one ran back to her father who was still lying on the bed in utter shock, she looked at him, tapped his arm and said;

” Papa, sowi baby… potty come soon… wait papa wait…..no spoil pamper” then she ran off and peeped through the door as she beckoned her little arms to her sister to hurry up.

While travelling in a commuter taxi, i happened to overhear a little girl’s conversation with her mother……

” How was school today?”

“It was great” responded the little one. At that moment her mother interjected and asked her what the matter was. She said that one sentence response was not like her usual daughter.

” something happened mommy, but you have to promise not to get mad at me….pleasseee, she begged. The lady responded in the affirmative, but i could see the impatience building up in her as she shoved in her seat…” Alright then, tell me already, what is it?”

” I beat up Paula…..i pounced and hit her like a boxer. …..then she giggled as she demonstrated with her hands. In no minute she said that Paula had called her ugly and her mother gasped and asked her why…..

” I refused to share my crayons and she said they were ugly, so i said to her ” back at you” but she went on and on making faces and saying my crayons were ugly…..but they are mine mommy and i know you said i should never fight but she shouldn’t call my crayons ugly either. She is a bad girl”

The lady went on to caution her daughter about fighting but reminded her to always stand up for herself with words and avoid violence, she then hugged her by the side.

I got out shortly after that , begrudgingly though……i wished to have listened all through the conversation.

With all that said, i would be insensitive not to recognise that the above is sometimes rather impossible for some parents,more so guardians who have countless responsibilities and have to run both day and night time routines which render it impossible to spend quality time with their children. Others are constrained by unreliable house maids, uncomfortable situations. The children do come first and the closest to stable they can get is at a boarding school. I salute and commend them !!!

As we strive to be better than yesterday, grow and raise a new generation, let’s strive together give them more…….more than we had, and if we cannot be with them everyday, let’s support those who sacrifice to assist us in this role..☆☆♡♡☆☆

≠RawandReal≠