Today is 5th April 2021, i still cannot believe that you are gone dad. We are hosting family. Surprisingly, it was the day of your patron saint. This is clearly a sign that it was God’s plan. As we remember you and feast, i see your smile….i heard your voice about a month ago in the corridors at home . We had a whole feast with food, drinks and nothing beats family presence ….
Everything was actually about you and we put up your picture…..there’s something about that photo….i don’t know if the boys notice that too but i see life in it, especially thru your eyes. I keep looking at it everytime i am home, and i get the exact same feeling. It is like looking right at you. It breathes life in so many ways.
We chose that picture because it speaks volumes, symbolises your pride and joy which was your work, it brings in your resilience and tough nature…you really were a force to reckon with. I remember how you would get us up early in the morning reminding us of how the early bird catches the worm, and that if we didn’t wake up early, we would be broke……hehehehe
The boys dawned in kanzus and we had gomesis on. Uncle Jimmy was the mc. He did a pretty awesome job, just like he did for your final resting place. We have become a tit bit vicious in the way we handle things…..leaving no room for any excuses or interference. Well, we have learnt not to trust too much, people have unleashed their paws….
One of the conversations i wish we had was about your name, and it is surprising that one if your friends said the exact same thing. He wanted to know where the name came from, your middle name.
I see you walk into the house and take your coat off in an instant, then begin to undo your tie. It was always followed by a laugh, then you went on about how your day went, the witnesses you faced.
You always kept record of our lives, i saw the photo album of our childhood and family photos. I read our names in your diary….it was a reminder to pick us up from school after the term closed and you always took us for lunch. I recall you coming to see me every term on the visitation day, you carried me food even when it was unacceptable. You sat thru our class meetings and criticized the system if you didn’t find it agreeable to you. I had comfort in knowing you were always there.
My first day in boarding school, you walked with me to the dormitory and left after i had laid my bed. I was only thirteen and you did that when i joined high school and university too. You always gave a deaf ear to those who said you shouldn’t. In your opinion, i wasn’t fully tucked in if i hadn’t laid my bed. You taught me confidence, zeal and strength, you built me up with love.
You loved sitting under the guava tree at home, and watching big brother and tusker project fame with us. We had our meal time and you were always home before it was dark. I vividly see you on my graduation day…..you got up and came to my room, gave me a hug and sat there and then put my graduation gown on my back…..you even pinned my plaque ” graduate”. The hour was 5am.
At the dinner that night, you said i was “the last matchstick”……now i know why.
We have developed a thick skin, and a lions roar. We are similar to the night tigers who look out carefully. We really are your flesh and blood!!!
I initially struggled with your passing, my heart was ripped open. I thought it wasn’t your time yet. It is my faith in God and friends that saved me, i am continously holding on to him and his promises until i finally make peace with it. I am not fully there but i am trying…. I can now sleep thru the night. It is a process. The weight on my heart is lighter and i know you are watching over us all. We love you dad, i love you!!!
It would take me pages unending to write about you….just so you know…..i will always remember you
Raw and Real 