I received a birthday message. I am a sucker for birthdays, and I do cherish them, but this one did not sit well with me.
This particular message was sent exactly ten months after being in a situation where I was desperately in need of this person’s support. I was in a meeting wherein I was accused of doing very many untrue things. To say the least, I was in a very tight spot. So, I did what I do best, I spoke up for myself and then suddenly I looked and scanned the room, I saw this person and my spirits rose up. I told myself that we had backup, and my heart was at peace. I had backup, I needed backup, and I trusted my backup too… She and I have been friends for three decades, I was beyond certain that she would not only vouch for me, but I knew that she garnered a lot of respect from the people in the room and would be listened to.
The tent was full of people and they were clapping very intently to everything that was being said…right or wrong. I have honestly never felt so disarmed. I took a moment and prayed, asked for my guardian angel to step in, I said my Rosary and the Divine Mercy prayers. I felt an inner strength build up inside me, and that is all I needed. I knew that God has got me!
As things unfolded, voices raised, tables were hit I turned to my backup just in time. She stood up and my face lit up, my eyes brightened but then she was walking towards the exit. I told myself it was just a bathroom break but no….not a single word did she speak. In a nick of time, she was asked whether she was coming back, and she turned her back and said; “Not at all”. I gasped and my stomach suddenly felt full, as my bladder seemed to be opening up. My heart sunk, but I kept my head high up and took a deep and painful breath.
At that moment, I turned my head and scanned the room again. This time it was to prepare for what was awaiting me. It was me against them all. My mind was racing and my head was spinning. i told myself; “ pull yourself together big gal. you got this!”💪💪💪
There is something about knowing that you have to fight or preparing for a sole battle. I put up a fight and maintained my stand. Yet deep inside I was bleeding.
Fast forward to seven months later…she sends me a message on my birthday and I could not believe my eyes because she was wishing me great health and good tidings and that God should bless me abundantly. I had tried to reach out a couple of months after that incident, to once again seek her voice and I got a lashing that I can remember word for word. The incident was very close to my heart and her response hit home. That was the point at which I decided to rest my case.
The first thing that came to my mind when I received that message was the fact that I could hear her voice through every word, strong and mighty. That is why I needed it and why I wish she had used it then; it would have carried more weight and significance then.
At this material time, it did not matter and still does not matter.
#RawandReal#
Raw and Real 